I Too Hurt and Cry…..by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica 2015

Sadness and Loneliness can be very painful , but we must all try and learn to deal with these emotions in a more positive way and talk to friends and other love ones

I cried, I cried,
I shed a Tear
I cried, I cried,
but no-one cares.
I cried, I cried,
no-one hears
I cried, I cried,
my heart it fears

Why must I be in so much hurt and pain?
Why must I cry,
I hurt it’s a shame.
Why should people be so cruel to me?
Now I am all alone,
my life full of misery.

To love is to hurt,
is it?
Your life is full of pain.
To the bitter end
no pain no gain.
Alas,
I’ve stopped,
no more hurt inside,
My life has now ended
for I no longer cry.

Written and copyrighted by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica 2015

Domestic Violence ………

Life was rosy

everything was sweet

Love and kisses

then one day it all started

No it wasn’t the first kiss

It was a hit and miss

He swore at her

this continued for a while

Then came the punches

he would punch her

day in and day out

As if she was his sparring partner

He continued to beat her

Many days he would slap the living daylights out of her.

The name calling got worse

words that you would never believe.

How worthless she was

It was pure torture

But yet she stayed

loyal and true

Day in and Day out

that’s what he would do

but yet, she cooked, clean and washed for him

Her daily life carried on

She was strong

A Phenomenal woman

When he came home

Instead of greeting her with open arms

It would be name calling

Verbal and physical abuse

when anyone ask

he would say “self inflicted harm”

 

The Kids never dare utter a word

She had to be strong for them

They looked up to her

But had so much hatred for him

He caused this.

Their minds twisted

life full of Bliss…

How can a man

says, he loves a woman

Yet, batter her like this

It was never this way before

He loved her

but somehow felt insecure….

but what went wrong,

 

The abuse carried on

until the day he took ill

but she smiled as she usually does

and her duties she carried on

Yes! she cared for him

Until his last breath

In sickness and in health

Til” death do they part

Her prayers have been answered.

Should she have put up with all this DOMESTIC ABUSE……?

 

Written and copyrighted by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica ™ 2014

 

Women you need to speak out , report and don’t stay for the sake of love or the kids. You are not anyoine’s punching bag. You should be loved with RESPECT, DIGNITY, and LOVED unconditionally.

 

Men are also being abused

Let’s get together and show LOVE not ABUSE each other

Show love not your FIST

Cycle of violence…WE can STOP this.. You can STOP this… I shall STOP this..

 

PLEASE I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ AND HAVE YOUR SAY….IT AFFECTS ALL OF US. LET’s PUT A STOP TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE NOW…

Knowing Love……..

I would rather know

that you don’t love me

than to have to wait, for your love.

for one minute you care

then the next you don’t

you try to shove me around

like a putt on a table

Not a care where

or what happens

Just as long as you are

or think you are able

To satisfy your urge,

need,

curiosity.

 

I wish this was love that I feel

Hmmm ……But its not

This fucking thing is just so unreal

Unrealistically, just a fucking nightmare

A big joke , maybe that’s why you stare

Stare and laugh at my sorry Ass .

 

Who would have thought

Once you really cared

Or so at least I thought

Maybe it was affection

I had bought

As I needed love

so a partner I sought

But got neglected ,

devalued ,

hurt and rejected

What happened?

Where did I go wrong?

This love that I thought

This bond which was so strong

Now broken-hearted

not a care for me

Just broken promises

are all I ever got

This isn’t love

this is Bliss

who would have thought love can be like this .

 

Written and Copyrighted by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica™ 2014

http://www.ainsleymcarter.co.uk

Waiting…..

 

I waited

and waited

But you never showed

I had my sexy boxers on

so you could have watched my cock grow

I had your favourite music

playing in the background

your song, “cookie” by R Kelly

Way….. way down low

The scene was all set

I was ready and waiting

Now my passion was slipping

I had rose petals spread across the bed

Fine Egyptian cotton pillows

For you to rest your head

It was going to be a night of full passion

Dammm was I wrong

cause you never showed

I had a fine dinner set

Rice and peas

salad and Lamb casserole

You would have been the dessert

But you never showed

I had the finest Chardonnay

All just for you honey

This was going to be the night

But you never showed….

 

written and copyrighted by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica ™ 2014

http://www.ainsleymcarter.co.uk

Waiting in vain

Wrong Reasons……….

Together you and I can move mountains

Have a relationship like Samson and Delilah

I will move pillars for you

Give up my strength for you

Honey ….anything I will do

 

You came into my world

When I needed you most

Like a meal on a hungry stomach

You have filled me up

Now I am truly happy to have you

 

The song says, “I will catch a grenade for you”,

But honey I will walk a field of mines

just to prove my love

I will swim with piranhas and sharks

That’s the extent of my love

Yet all of this and you brush me off

…….because I have no capital….

 

So it seems you need money rather than love

I am sorry that’s one thing I can’t do

It’s either my body , my soul and my heart

But I know your answer

so guess we are through

 

I thought this would have been perfect

Guess I was very wrong

and for that I am so SORRY

To give my heart to a selfish ,self centred  bitch like you

All you think about is filling your Bank Account, “cha-ching”‎

but honey that won’t always do

There is more to life and relationships

than money and flashy things

 

Giving your heart and truly loving someone

Having a laugh , caring for someone

Being committed, down to earth and open

Adds more and makes that relationship worth more than monetary gain

To love just for money is a lifetime of misery and pain

 

Written and copyrighted by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica ™ 2014

Loving the wrong person doesn’t mean that you are stupid….It just stupid of the person not to appreciate your LOVE……..

Thank You………

 

Honey I want to thank you
Thanks for the friendship,
Thanks for the laughter
Thanks for the Good-times we share
Thank you for the wonderful smiles
Thanks for showing me that you cared
Thanks for the love you showed me
Even though it was only for a while
Thanks for breaking my heart
Thanks for making me cry
And yes, my Heart Bled and my eyes did cry
But now the pain is all over
Why do you ask?
Because I have learned to say goodbye.

Loving someone is the hardest thing to do, giving a piece of your Heart is merely sharing your love,your inner soul with another, like a river meeting another, you can never distinguish the difference in the water when its all mixed. Everything in life is tested day by day and we must realize that one main thing….. NOTHING LAST FOREVER.

 

LOVE a mystery yet to be solved

Written and copyrighted by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica 2013

Why do you stare?………..

 

Why do you constantly Stare?

Is it that you care?

Is it my attire, the way that I am dressed?

Like a lion without a mane

Draws the crowd

who becomes hysterical

like a laughing hyena

Yes I walk the street

dis-shelleved and unkempt

It’s not because i want to

It’s how society is bent.

Poor I am….. but rich in Spirit

Yet as you stare, we are alike in many ways

Look at me, FREEDOM

I am a pillar standing in the Sun’s Rays

glowing as they shine down on me

Is it not showing upon my face?

Spreading, giving me the vitamins of life

Look at me!,  yes as I sprout, taking in the nourishment

Yes!  I abandon, political power for world peace.

Why do you stare?

We are all like the planets

Spread around, yet held together

by an invisible suspended magnetic force within the galaxy

Yet feels trapped

As if being held captive

within a box without doors

But still why do you stare?

I am happy, but the look upon your face

as you walk on by

shows sadness

despite all the money you have

The fancy cars, house and land,

You are not free as I am.

You are a prisoner….

hmmmm I see,

This is the reason why you Stare…..

Written and copyrighted by Ainsley Carter, Poet and Author of “Poetry a way of Life”

Heartbroken, Cheated on…………

 

I sit in my Darkness…..

a darkness which you have created..

created a monster within me

full of rage I cry out

but no one hears me…. hears my cry

My call is deadened by muffles only I could understand

As I sob and yet wonder why

You have left me… now taken another man

In your head you created the scene of a crime

A crime which you said I have committed

now upset and with  hatred

Which fills your very soul of me

As I sit and shiver,

wondering and thinking

Pondering

why can’t people ever understand……….

Understand me….

Fuck this world now,

For I have suffered way too long

In love, in love now , hurting for a love,

A love who is not deserving.

For I loved from the start

I have given you my soul, all my love , my Heart

through and through

I have been there for you…

I’ve helped in good times and sad times

but lo and behold,

to my dismay

All I have ever gotten from you was cold hearted HATRED

My heart  now filled and overflowing

Beats fading, Blackened, Darkened,

with so much pain

pain…… charred remnants are now all that remains.

To Hurt is to be Hurt, To love is to be Loved….

Copyrighted by Ainsley Carter aka Mr. Erotica …. Author of “Poetry a Way of Life”, and “A Journey into the Abyss of the Mind”.

 http://www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=300540, 

www.amazon.co.uk, www.amazon.com,www.whsmith.co.uk,

www.waterstones.co.uk, www.barnesandnoble.com

Sadness and painful, broken relationships can cause Charred Hearts, Malice and eventually Death……